August 2017
  FallacyReport.com
   "BARACK VS. THE ANTI-PC: Laying the Groundwork for a 2016 Donald Trump Presidential Run"
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Bumper Stickers

 

You notice the rear bumper on the AMC Pacer stopped in front of you: "IF GUNS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL ..." yada, yada.

 

Republican Bumper Sticker

 

AN UNARMED MAN IS A SUBJECT. AN ARMED MAN ESPOUSING INANE, INSIPID PRO-GUN PLATITUDES IS A SUBJECT AND A PREDICATE.

 

Humane Society Bumper Stickers

Fun With Bumper Stickers "People with too much time on your hands — UNITE!"


All right. You're stuck in the usual sunrise rush hour traffic, trying to get on the freeway to work. You're listening to Jack & Jill in the Morning working the microphones, interviewing (belittling) midget crackhead assistants live-on-the-air for a cheap laugh. You notice the rear bumper on the AMC Pacer stopped in front of you: "IF GUNS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL ..." yada, yada. 

Between texting your BFF about a BFD, cellphoning your BFAW about a BYOB at the YMCA (BTW, that's on the QT), and juggling a Muffin McMuffin, Turkish hash browns, and a litigiously hot cup of coffee on your lap, you've all had this same thought while driving to work: "I could write better bumper stickers than that." But most people never get around to it. Fortunately for you all, we give voice to the I-could-do-better-than-that crowd.


FallacyReport.com presents: Fun With Bumper Stickers

AN UNARMED MAN IS A SUBJECT. AN ARMED MAN ESPOUSING INANE, INSIPID PRO-GUN PLATITUDES IS A SUBJECT AND A PREDICATE.

MY GUN? YES. MY DOG? MAYBE. MY ABILITY TO THINK INDEPENDENTLY (and my wife, if she's reading this)? NEVER!

IF CRITICAL THOUGHT IS SUPPRESSED, ONLY SUPPRESSIONISTS WILL HAVE CRITICAL THOUGHT

BARACK OBAMA IS MY PRESIDENT. CHARLTON HESTON IS A DECEASED NRA MEMBER.

KEEP HONKING. I'M RE-THINKING.

THEY'LL GET MY LOGICAL REASONING WHEN THEY PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS

IT'S BETTER TO HAVE CRITICAL THINKING AND NOT NEED IT, THAN TO NEED CRITICAL THINKING AND NOT HAVE IT

GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE — PREVARICATING, ULTRACONSERVATIVE, DEMAGOGUING, WARMONGERING PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE

I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK (Oops — that one's from 2004)

I LOVE MY COUNTRY. IT'S THE CONSERVATIVE LAWMAKERS WHO ARE TRYING TO PARALYZE OUR GOVERNMENT THAT I'M AFRAID OF.

"SO — HOW'S THAT HOPEY-CHANGEY THING WORKIN' OUT FOR YA SO FAR?"

ACTUALLY, PRETTY GOOD. WE FINALLY ACHIEVED HEALTH CARE REFORM — NOT AS STRONG AS WE WANTED, BUT A GREAT START. OUR COUNTRY'S LEADERSHIP HAS REGAINED MUCH OF THE WORLD'S RESPECT THAT WAS LOST DURING THE LAST ADMINISTRATION. A REPEAT OF THE GREAT DEPRESSION WAS AVERTED BY THE BOLD, BRAVE ACTIONS OF OUR NEW PRESIDENT. AND POSITIVE FINANCIAL REGULATIONS ARE NOW ON THE BOOKS (the most comprehensive overhaul since Roosevelt's post-depression reforms) TO PREVENT FUTURE WALL STREET MELTDOWNS AND HOSTAGE-TAKING. WE'RE MAKING GOOD PROGRESS TOWARD WORLD NUCLEAR WEAPONS REDUCTIONS (thanks to our newfound respect). WE FINALLY HAVE REAL GOVERNMENT SUPPORT FOR DEVELOPMENT OF RENEWABLE ENERGY TECHNOLOGIES. AND WE HAVE DEMOCRATIC EXECUTIVE AND LEGISLATIVE BODIES WHO ARE DETERMINED TO PASS MEANINGFUL, HOPEY-CHANGEY LEGISLATION THAT BENEFITS OUR CITIZENRY IN SPITE OF THE OPPOSITION'S NARROW, SELFISH DESIRE TO SEE PRESIDENT OBAMA FAIL — NO MATTER HOW THAT MIGHT IMPACT THE PEOPLE OF OUR COUNTRY.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. HOW'S THAT DEBATE PREP THING WORKIN' OUT FOR YA SO FAR, SARAH?

REASON ONLY, SPOKEN HERE

A VILLAGE IN TEXAS (and Wyoming) JUST GOT ITS IDIOT BACK

FAR-RIGHT POLITICIANS PREFER NON-THINKING PEASANTS

THE BEST HOMELAND SECURITY IS AN ARMED (with a brain) CITIZEN

RUSH IS RIGHT — FAR, HEAD-UP-HIS-BUTT-ULTRA RIGHT

REPUBLICANS PREFER UNTHINKING VICTIMS

PISS OFF A LIBERAL — PROVE HIM OR HER WRONG BY THINKING INDEPENDENTLY

REJECT SOCIALISM — RE-ELECT BARACK OBAMA



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Bob Barker Always digging for the truth — sharpening the satiric edge of critically thoughtful communication while exploring politics, religion, and classic joke punch lines.

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